There is only one person, and one person only who will always be there for you: yourself. Which is why it is so important to be happy on your own and to love yourself before anyone else can.
Have you ever caught yourself critiquing your physical appearance, or perhaps your voice or more absurdly, your thoughts? If you have, welcome to the club. You are not alone, in fact you’re most likely to be part of the rather large number of the human population who does so. Why are we so harsh about what we look like, how we dress or what people think of us? These questions gave me restless nights, and I would bury myself in unnecessary buy valium online for anxiety trying to find an answer. Yet, the answer is quite simple: we are so preoccupied with worrying what other individuals think of us, we forget what is actually important to us. We lose ourselves by constantly comparing ourselves to someone else, and when we do not measure up to our OWN senseless and non-existent ‘standards’ we pick ourselves apart. Ok, I lied, the answer is complex as shit, but that does not mean it cannot be solved. Because, why, should we suffer by constantly thinking we are not good enough, when we are more than good enough.
I once read something that has changed the way I live my life today: “You must first learn to love yourself, before you let anyone else love you”. Seems like another dumbfounded quote, HOWEVER, think again. It makes sense (if it doesn’t, keep reading until it does). You cannot give your all to someone else, before you give all you’ve got to yourself. Think of this as the airplane safety demo, you know, where you first have to put the oxygen mask on yourself and then assist others. Its the same thing with life, you have to get the oxygen before anyone else does, otherwise, you end up suffocating.
Of course there are people who will be there for you during difficult times. Whether its your family or your friends. However, do not take this opportunity to become dependant on them like an infant who’s not potty trained. A few acquaintances of mine (I call them acquaintances instead of friends because they haven’t seen me naked) find me bizarre for sometimes wanting to be on my own. I find it extremely liberating, to be by myself with my own thoughts, walking in the park or even being alone at home. This is the time in which I can do whatever I want, this is also the chance I get to think about ideas and goals I want to achieve without anyone else’s interference.
I am often misunderstood by people who find it hard to be isolated from everyone at times. They ask me if I ever get lonely. I do get lonely, but not when I am alone. I get lonely when I find myself surrounded by people who do not share my interests or value my opinion. All I know is i’d rather be a lone wolf than find myself in a herd of sheep.
Perhaps this comes from the fact that I left home at an early age of seven, to pursue an education in a country away from my family and anything familiar. This desire for independence and struggle to not rely on anyone but myself. Or maybe because I am selfish. I believe that being selfish is what saves you. When one is as selfish as the rich dude in Titanic, they’re able to survive during difficult circumstances, when they need to choose whether their well-being or someone else’s will be affected and I can tell you that they will always choose themselves.
A few years ago, you’d see me bend over backwards trying to please someone else, being manipulated into doing them favours and not staying true to myself. I was made to believe that I am not good enough. But no matter how hard they tried, the person who was bringing me down the most, was me. I was not happy, which is why I lashed out at myself. This was my subconscious fighting for a change. So I fought. I slowly distanced myself from the crowd that made me doubt myself. I read, meditated and exercised solo. I slowly pushed myself away from depending on other people. I quickly found out that their opinions did not matter anymore, their insults held no power over me, neither did their manipulation.
This was not an overnight transition. It took a while before I looked in the mirror and actually saw myself. A matter of high importance is to always strive for what you want. All of these insecurities come from the mind, the magazines that portray an unachievable image of what you should look like. Who the fuck knows what we’re supposed to look like?! The idea of categorising someone based on the way they look or dress is ridiculous.
Before you jump to extreme measures such as plastic surgery, take a moment to step back and try to solve the issue you are dealing with psychologically. It is easier to wait and assess, whether going under the knife is truly what you desire or if it is just going to be a temporary fix to a larger issue. You will always have time to get some work done, however not thinking things through and rushing through the process may result in regret, additional insecurities and depression. Always remember that you are in control of every decision you make, so if you are unhappy at the moment, you always have the power to change that.
I found it liberating to be able to say that I could spend time on my own and not feel lonely or scared.
I choose me, and I dare you to choose yourself too.